Saturday, July 28, 2007

Smoking Art Outside Gallery Connexion

Dana was sitting outside Gallery Connexion smoking pieces of his latest work. “Hi, Biff,” he said. “I’m smoking art.”

“Wow,” said Biff. “I wonder what Keirkegarde would say about that?”

“Fuck Kierkegarde,” said Dana. “Sarte ate art.”

“And I thought that was just a rumor,” said Biff. “No flies on Sarte, eh?”

“Fuck you too, Biff,” said Dana. “I’m smoking art.”

Meanwhile, inside Gallery Connexion, Meredith was getting some last minute instructions from the Picaroons guy in preparation for the culture crawl.

“They’ll be crawling by the time they get this far,” he said. “So you have to serve low. If you serve too high, you’ll confuse them and they’ll snort the beer instead of drinking it. Now, for the ones who start at the other end of the crawl, you’ll have serve high or you’ll make them look like they peed their pants.”

“Why don’t I just serve them right between the eyes?” said Meredith.

“And then there’s that,” said the guy from Picaroons.

Later on, Meredith was looking at an edible beer glass thinking, Hm … I wonder if you can really eat these or if people just choke on them, roll over and die.

I’m certainly not going to test them out on myself … I need to stay alive to find out who got Carnevale 3.0 pregnant. I’ll bet it was that little bastard, Biff. I knew he was trouble the moment I saw him.

Enter Biff.

“Oh hi,” said Meredith. “Did you have sex with Carnevale 3.0?”

“I don’t think so,” said Biff. “Does she wear red wigs and hang out at questionable bars?”

“Yes,” said Meredith. “She does. Frequently. Would you mind eating this glass for me?”


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