The BlackTop MotorCycle Gang on Joe’s Show

It was a strange and eerily lit night when three members of the BlackTop MotorCycle Gang broke through the doors of CHSR, killing the security mouse in the process, and said, “You’re one of us. We’re taking over your show.”

Whereupon, Joe said, “I am …”

… and the rest is mythic.

Joe said, “John, could you please wear a hat or paint your head black or something. I’m much a-feared that your baldy pate may summon light demons to this hallowed studio ground.”

“Fuck off,” said John. John is our cause without a rebel. We all get chills when he says fuck off. Say it again, John.

“Fuck off.”

Ooooo…

“Nice going, vile BTMGer,” said Joe. “Light demons. If they touch nary a stick of this much prized apparatus, it’s into the bin for you.”

“Fuck off.”

Ooooo…

John suddenly sprung up and pointed to the fish bowl. “It’s YOU who summoned the light demons!” he yelled at Biff.

“Ooooo…” said Biff.

“John, you’re such a wiener,” said WhiteFeather. “Cute, but a wiener. Now, sit down and stop picking on Biff.”

“How about reading something, John,” said Joe. “This is a reading show … o … o wow! Hold that pose while I capture this moon.”

“I’m such a naughty little boy, “ said John.

John started reading, “Roses are red, violets are blue. Jeannine wears army boots, and chews tobacco too.”

“That was great, John,” said WhiteFeather. “She’s gonna sue your ass off for that, you know.”

“Yeah, John, sue your ass off,” said Biff.

It was WhiteFeather’s turn to read. She picked up her papers, took a deep breath and read: “I call this one Upon Finding the Carcass of a Womyn BTMG Member Who Isn’t Me and Incorporating It Into a Macramé Sweater.”

Joe read a prison song that turned out to be a weather forecast. For all of humanity. For the next thousand years. In Serbian. And Gaelic. And it ended in German. “Ya, das womein wearen army booten. Ya, Jeanninen. Wearen army booten.”

And then WhiteFeather broke into song:

AIN’T NO SHAVIN’
UNDER MY ARMS
O BABY
AIN’T NO SHAVIN’
GOIN’ ON
NO BABY
AIN’T NO SHAVIN’…

(to be discontinued …)