Death to Cars and Cell Phones

I read somewhere that in Medieval times they cut one or both hands off thieves. I think we should bring back this quaint little custom and apply it to people who have cell phones stuck to their ears while they drive. And, no folks, it’s not the same as driving and talking to a passenger. The extra distraction of holding a phone to their ears seems to turn normal people into idiots.

I was driving through a mall parking lot when a big-ass Intrepid came straight at me. I was in the right lane, the Intrepid wasn’t. I honked my horn. The Intrepid didn’t slow down or veer back to the right lane. At the last minute, I had to turn quickly and pass in the lane the Intrepid should have been in. Also at the last minute, I caught a glimpse of the driver.

He was an elderly man with a cell phone pressed to his ear. He was yelling into it. If I hadn’t already been late for work, I would have followed him and yelled into his face for a long, long time.

Another time, I was driving through a residential district with a blue Toyota in front of me. The Toyota was thundering along at a blistering 10 mph. And crossing over the center line frequently. And coming perilously close to hitting the curb just as frequently. Residential road or not, I passed the car and looked in the window at the driver.

It was a woman yakking away on a cell phone, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she was driving a 2000 pound vehicle through a residential area. If there had been any children by the side of the road, I wonder if she would have seen them. She sure as hell wasn't aware of me passing her.

Another time, I was nearing an intersection when I noticed a Focus approaching from the lane to my right. Even though I had the green light, the driver wasn’t slowing down. I stepped on the brakes quickly and was almost rear-ended by the car behind me. The driver honked angrily, but stopped when he saw the Focus go through the intersection about the same time he and I would have been in the car’s path.

The driver was talking on a cell phone. He could have killed me. He could have killed the horn-honker in the car behind me. If a car full of kids had gone through the intersection, they might have all died, and for what? So that some dumb-ass can talk on the phone while he drives.

Cut his hands off!

I’ve seen pedestrians almost hit at crosswalks by drivers talking on cell phones. I’ve been cut off on highways by drivers talking on cell phones. I’ve had people about to pull onto the street from over a block away and suddenly, when I’m a couple dozen feet away, they pull out right in front me because their brain is glued to the voice in the cell phone they have slapped to their ear.

Holding a cell phone to the ear while driving should be illegal everywhere in the world. Offenders should have their hands cut off. Or maybe their ears. Or…or maybe they should have their cell phone accounts cut off!

Ouch!

Sadly, if given the choice, many would likely choose to have their hands cut off.