West Long Lake Water Sirens

Stories of sirens have chilled sailors since the beginning of myth. They would lure the unwary into watery death with their mystical songs, but not until they had their way with them. Yeah, the dirt between the lines. Gotta give them singing fools something to sing about and I challenge anyone to call me on this. Just show me the otherwise proof.

But sirens don't just adorn the wavelets of the briny seas, some are closer to home. Land-bound on the rock gardens of New Brunswick's wilderness lakes, singing their alluring songs to the ... and get this ... unwary young lady paddlers.

Yes, New Brunswick (think of a place North of Florida, South of The Shipping News) has spawned the Lady Enrapturing Lake Siren that sings its songs in a semi-Elvis don't-you-step-on-my-blue-suede-fin motif that draws only the most beautiful women into the acid-rain-soaked-depths and forces them into all manner of uncivil acts before turning them into ... yes ... another rock in the garden.

In a recent canoeing trip on West Long Lake, Nanook of the Nashwaak (author of Reach Out and Touch a Rock), John Heinstein (author of The Cheap Red Wine Manifesto) and I encountered one of these magic music critters and we actually got a photo. I must warn you, though ... gazing on this creature of the Long Lake depths may severely alter the way you feel about recreational drugs, so view with caution.

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I'm not joking.

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You've been warned.

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Too late!

Photo by John Heinstein.